A Lizard Tale

(Music fades in)

            Hello everyone! Kumusta ka! Welcome to today’s episode. And in it, we will be returning to Maximo D. Ramos’s book for one more story, and then that will be it for a while. After all, I don’t want to give you too many retellings, least I accidentally deter you from buying or reading the book for yourself.

            For this last story, you might be thinking, go big or go home. Because that’s a surprisingly fun phrase to say. And it does make sense for a finale type episode, regardless of what is being brought to an end. And on that note, retellings will still go on. They will be an important part of this podcast. In fact, I might still return to this book someday, so it wouldn’t be the end of that even.  Just the end for a while.

            I don’t know for sure.  But look, there’s an aspect of discovery or adventure that has to happen outside of any sort of plan.

            So, I really don’t know. But let’s have a dark humor laugh and call that the end. (Pause) Okay, I might need to explain that. Or not. Or yes. Ramos’s book is divided into sections. Kind of like chapters. And one of those chapters is called “Tales of Laughter,” in which this story is positioned even if it doesn’t exactly fit. It is funny, just maybe not the type of funny you would expect when you read a heading like that. I don’t know. It might all just depend on your perspective.

            But regardless of what that perspective is, I have a story for you.

(Music fades out and new music fades in)

            This is a tale of events that happened long ago. Before we started keeping any sense of time. It is still important to keep these tales alive. We must never forget what came before. And so we tell stories like this to remember and to teach.

            Back then, life was not like it is today. Back then, all people had to live off of the land around them. In a patch of particularly dense forest, there was a man and a woman, a husband and wife. When they first were wed, they had a little farm and nothing more with which to feed themselves. And with great work and careful planning, it did just that and very well.

(Music fades out and new music fades in)

            But in time, the man—not content with this mode of living—crafted a set of traps with which he would capture the wild birds that lived around them. Now, this was not an easy feat, but he hoped that in doing this, he would make a way for them to eat well without too much labor.

            He took his times to carefully make the traps but when he thought they were ready, he took his contraptions out into the wooded areas where the wild birds were known to frequent and laid them out along the path. He went so far as to even cover them with leaves, making it more likely that an unknowing bird’s foot would find its way into the trap as it was searching for its own meal, ensnaring a suitable dinner for him and his wife.

            Though he was tired from making the traps, it was an exciting thought to him. A dream, some would call it, though he had a hard time imaging the details. If he could, he would have likely slept much better than he did, but as it stands, that night, the man struggled to sleep in his excitement.  In the morning, without any delay for breakfast, the man headed back out. But when the man returned to the first trap, he did not see a bird within it but a lizard had fallen into the trap instead. Now it was not what he had first expected, but at the sight the man was not displeased. Lizard meat is quite delicious, after all. But with so many other traps to check, the man could not take the lizard back himself. He thought about it for a moment and then had an idea.

            “I will send the lizard back to my home, telling him to bring my bolo back to my wife. My wife will then use it to kill and prepare him. And we will eat well together tonight,” the man thought.

(Music fades out and new music fades in)

            Before he did that, he checked his bolo, holding up the blade into the light to see if it was sharp enough. When he saw that it was, in fact, to his satisfaction, he knelt down and freed the lizard from the trap.

            To the creature, he presented the large knife the bolo along with his carrying basket, saying, “Dear lizard, please bring this to my wife in our home just up the path. And hurry! She needs it to cut loose the fruits from our trees for dinner tonight. Or else we will not eat.”

            “Yes, good sir,” the lizard replied before he scurried off.

            The man watched him go up the path until he was out of sight, obscured by the thick brush above him.

            Now, the lizard was no fool. He knew his flesh was eagerly consumed by humans, beings like the man’s wife who would like use the bolo to prepare him for their dinner. That is, if he did as he was told. Certainly, if he did as he was told, he would be killed and eaten with the same knife he carried.

            “I do not want to be dishonest and fool the man,” the lizard thought, “but I certainly do not want to be his dinner.”

            The decision was easy to make. As soon as he was out of view, the lizard strayed from the path. He found a high tree beside a stream and climbed up to one of the highest branches, leaving the bolo and the basket at the foot of the tree. At the very least, he would not steal the man’s tools. But he would not be the man’s dinner.

            However, he had already taken a fair bit from the man, specifically the other meals the man could have had. There were other birds caught in the man’s trap, and the lizard had taken all of them caught in his traps and ate them quite contently before he himself was captured. That was some hours ago, though. And the lizard certainly felt no guilt for it. In fact, he was quite happy with his day, excluding getting captured himself, of course. But even that had worked out in his favor. Now, he could simply basking in the sun’s warmth and rest as long as he would like to.

(Music fades out and new music fades in)

            Meanwhile, the man continued to check each of the traps he had laid out. And to his dismay, all he found after the lizard’s feasting were the unappetizing loose feathers that had fallen from each bird. It was certainly not what he had hoped for, and it was good reason to get discouraged. However, the man had reason to be happy and hopeful. And he chose to focus on that.

            “While I’ve had little luck today,” thought the man. “I will still have the lizard for dinner. And a good dinner it will be.”

            The man walked home happily with an extra pep in his step. From a ways away, he could smell the stew his wife was cooking. And his stomach growled. He was very hungry, having not eaten a thing all day As he entered the home, he called out, “Wife, let’s have dinner.”

            “Good that it is ready then,” his wife replied, just as cheerily.

            The man took his usual seat at their table while the woman poured out two heaping servings of the stew she had been making and sat one down in front of the man. He looked at it, and while it looked appealing, he saw that there was no lizard meat in it at all.

            Confused, he asked her, “Where is the lizard? Get it out of the pot, so we can eat him.”

            “What lizard?” the woman asked.

            “The lizard I sent you,” the man insisted.

            The woman was still very confused. “Sent to me?”

            “I sent you a lizard this morning,” the man explained. “He was in my trap. Did you not cook him?”

            “Who was to bring him to me?” the woman asked.

(Music fades out and new music fades in)

            “The lizard himself! As I told you, he was in my trap. I gave him my bolo and my basket and told him to bring them to you. Stop joking, now. Where is my bolo and basket? And where is the lizard?”

            The woman scoffed. “If anyone is joking, you are! And a foolish joke at that. There is no lizard. If you sent the lizard to me as you say, of course he never came. He ran away.”

            “Well, why would he?” the man asked. “Why would he run away?”

            The woman laughed again but louder. “Because no lizard is foolish enough to deliver himself for dinner, with the knife as well. No being wants to die. Besides, how could the lizard understand what you were asking him?”

            “I don’t know how,” the man said impatiently, “but he did understand me. “In fact, he could even speak. He answered me and told me he would come.” His wife did not believe him. And he only grew more angry as each moment went on. “Well, now I have to go back and find him. He must be punished for all that ill he has caused me today. How dare he lie to me like this! I will get him.”

            The man walked back to the woods with a great anger on his shoulders, kicking up rocks and breaking branches as he went.

            He returned to the trap the poor lizard had found himself caught in. While it was still empty, not even a bird had found its way back to it, the lizard’s tracks were not far away. Because the ground was soft from many days of rain, they were easy to see and follow. The man followed them all the way to the stream where the lizard’s reflection greeted him.

            He saw it right away, and at the sight, his anger was renewed.

            “There you are!” the man yelled. “Now I’ve got you!”

            The man jumped into the water, making a big splash and breaking the water’s surface. With no surface, the image of the lizard disappeared. The man splashed around a bit more, but he never felt the lizard in his clutches. After a while, he gave up. Dripping wet and with his clothing pressing down on him, the man returned to the bank.

            “The lizard is indeed tricky,” he muttered under his breath.

            He stared at the place where he had last seen the lizard. When the water became still and the lizard’s reflection reappeared, the man exclaimed again, “There you are!” Before he jumped back into the water, but of course, he did not catch the lizard.

(Music fades out and new music fades in)

            He pursued the lizard’s reflection for a bit, trying to jump into the water after it a few more times, but of course, he did not have any success in catching his prize. In time, he grew tired and returned home. He told his wife about his misadventures, “I almost got the lizard many times, but he is very slippery. I don’t know how he managed to escape. I landed right on him one or two times, but every time I almost had him, he foiled me yet again.”

            “Well, I would like to see him for myself,” she said. “If this lizard really is so special, then it is worth it to see. Let’s go and look for him.”

(Music fades out and new music fades in)

            There was still a bit of light left in the day. With it, the man took his wife back to the stream. He pointed to the reflection in the water. “There!” he called out. “You see him now.”

            Meanwhile, the lizard stayed perch on his branch. After watching the man for so long, the lizard could not muster any concern. He yawned once before laying down his head and returning to his rest.

            The woman looked into the water and then turned up to the tree. “Why there is your lizard,” she pointed. “And he is not slippery. He is sleeping!”

            The man followed her gaze to look up at the tree. “Yes indeed,” he said, “but what is the lizard in the water?”

            “That is nothing but the reflection of the lizard in the tree,” she replied patiently. “There is no lizard there.”

            The man blushed. That was truly a foolish mistake to make, and he was deeply ashamed by it. Shame and embarrassment quickly became more anger, and he had so much of it already. “You lizard,” the man shouted angrily. “I see you now. I will come up and get you. I will punish you for disobeying me” The man scrambled up the tree, but the bark was rough and painful to touch. And the size of each branch made it hard to hold onto. He still did the best that he could with the challenges. “I told you to go to my home with my bolo and basket, and what did you do instead? You ran off with them. Just to sleep in this tree! You thief! You liar. ”

            Despite all the obstacles before him, the man did manage to get fairly close to the lizard, but when he reached for that final branch, (Music cut) he lost his balance, fell to the ground, broke his neck, and died.

(New music fades in)

            This has been a production of Miscellany Media Studios with music from the Sounds like an Earful music supply. Thank you for listening. If you like the show, please leave a review, donate to our Ko-Fi account, or check out our other shows. Links in the show notes.

(Music fades out)