Episode 24 - REveal

(Music fades in)

I don’t know about you--because I can’t keep all the details straight in lives that I am not directly responsible for or connected to--but I’m under another lockdown. Or I will be soon enough. I find the dates confusing, to be honest. Time doesn’t make much sense anymore, I’ll admit. I’m sure a lot of us would want to admit that if we felt like it meant anything to say aloud. A lot of things don’t mean anything in the long run. 

To be frank, human confidence feels like one of them. It feels like an illusion or a delusion to think we can have complete control over any aspect of our lives when so many forces are working to undermine that control. Like, here’s an example. I could plan a picnic, which involves checking the weather, but those are only scientific predictions. Right? Meteorology is a science, and science has room for error built into every action, reaction, and pre-action. Who is to say a raccoon is not going to come and steal my sandwiches. 

That’s not where you thought I was going to go, right? That’s my actual point.

(Extended - Music fades out and new music fades in)

The wedding was quite beautiful, which was to be expected. It was a royal wedding, after all, which included feasts by everyone in the kingdom, the peasants especially. A full belly can delay a revolut or two, after all. And the king was concerned. None of his advisors seemed to know how the people would take this marriage, if it were something they could accept or if the disappointment of the bride that was gone would take over and would lead to unrest. 

Not gone, perhaps, but taken, the king knew some people were inclined to think. And they were right to think that, but that wasn’t his point. 

Still, though she had not been wanted just weeks before, his new daughter-in-law was able to hold her head high. She was a strong and proud woman. She truly was a rock that could stand against the most devastating of storms. And that was what the prince needed, the king thought. That’s what any king needs by his side. 

He found himself looking over at his wife frequently throughout the day. He had had his doubts about the match at first, but the queen had been steadfast in her resolve. And now, well, the king knew that she was right. Though he gazed upon her lovingly and with great admiration, the queen did not notice the king’s gaze. She was too busy staring at the princess. She knew the princess was plotting something. How could she not be? It was in her nature, after all, to scheme and plot. To take and kill. 

The queen struggled to hide her anger and disgust at the sight of her daughter. It was a secret she had to keep, every day but especially this one. Her son’s wedding day was meant to be a day of celebration, after all. And if it could not be felt, then it needed to be faked. 

(Extended - Music fades out and new music fades in)

I remember telling The GiftedDuckling that I didn’t know why my aunt hated me so much, which felt like a weird thing to bring up, But I-- I don’t know. It was a question I wanted an answer to. I wanted to know, you know? I wanted to know what I did wrong, and if it wasn’t something I did but something I was, well, as a child, I thought ‘fixing’ it was something you could do. Obviously not. A lot of things in life, most things in fact are way more complicated than that. But I was still young. Not quite a child. Innocence lost and all that. But young.

The GiftedDuckling tried to reason with me. She tried to make me understand that some people are just horrible. Or they were made that way by other hands just as horrible if not worse than that iheirs. Her point was that you could not worry about the details. You couldn’t about their story, only yours. Having a narrative arc to someone’s villain story might lend insight into the human experience, sure. It might help society improve in the long run. But those are the sorts of things that can really only happen in a certain frame of mind. And the end goal has to be clear. I had neither of those things. So it would have been for the best if I didn’t think about it, but it wasn’t like that temptation wasn’t readily apparent. 

Maybe it’s because I liked stories, and there was certainly a story there. That’s the takeaway I’ve gotten from so many true crime podcasts just being in existence. But… Well, please see my previous point.

(Extended - Music fades out and new music fades in)

The princess was dressed in an extravagant gown. Of gold. Which was not what the king or queen had wanted her to do. As they saw it, it was rude to the prince’s bride who would have seen gold as the color of mourning. Yes, the prince’s bride would be expected to adapt to the norms and cultures of her new land, so whether or not it was right to expect her to put aside her feelings and beliefs carried over from the soil that bore her, the gold should not have offended her. She had no right to the offense.  The king and queen were worried about the symbolism of it all. They were worried that the princess had seemingly dressed for a funeral, considering the one they had just in fact had. The one for the general’s daughter. 

And the princess had meant it. This much the queen knew, and she tried to stay calm. Her daughter-in-law had told there was a plan in place. The queen merely had to trust her. 

(Extended - Music fades out and new music fades in)

There were details to the story the GiftedDuckling would not have believed, anyway. Or that’s what I always tell myself. If she wasn’t going to believe me no matter how hard I tried then not trying might make sense, right? And I knew this to be true. I had shoved some of those details into the stories I wrote for her, and she always remarked about how creative my imagination was, specifically when it came to those details. I get it; it was meant as a complement, but that doesn’t mean it landed that way with me because I need her to see that those things were possible. That my stories could be real.

A certain amount of skepticism is healthy, yes, but at some point, maybe we need to be skeptical of our skepticism.  If only because there are things we haven’t been able to explain yet or also because there are other people who accept the more outlandish stories as truth. Maybe because they don’t have anything else. Because they’re young. 

There’s a story to them that you don’t know, and the details have never properly lined up. Maybe you want to know that tale, and you’ve been working towards finding it out. But no matter how hard you try, you cannot predict what you’re going to hear. It may catch you off-guard, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bother to have the glove out.

(Extended - Music fades out and new music fades in)

Throughout the ceremony and the day as a whole, the princess looked around for the eyes in the shadows. She wasn’t even trying to hide her wandering eye or much of the panic on her face. No one was looking at her anyway. Everyone was in their own little world, and it gave the princess a chance for this figurative escape. The princess had never felt this sense of panic and dread before, and she did not know what to do with it. She’d never had to confront this. After all, even if she didn’t have the most superior title in the land, she still commanded a great deal of power. Fear and love were her weapons not convention and obligation. And hers were more powerful. They were the things human beings could not resist acting in accordance with. The princess knew this to be true, and yet, she had not experienced these things herself. She did not think she ever would. After all, she was beyond that or above that. She was above everyone. She could not be touched.

Or that’s what she thought. She thought that for a while because it was the truth of her situation, but things had changed. Situations have shifted. Now, she thinks, with her hand brushing against her stomach, she could not be so sure where she stood. She might have made a mistake. She might have slipped a bit from her pedestal, and she needed to get her footing back, somehow, but it could not be done without help. Without the keeper of the eyes that had always seemed to be watching over her. 

The princess was so distracted that she almost did not see when the prince’s hand brushed against the altar trimming. It was the recoil that caught her eye. To the horror of all around him, he pulled back as if he was in pain, as if the steel trim had pierced his flesh, which was possible. Many young clerics had experienced such discomfort, though it was an entirely different matter for it to happen to a prince, but a rotation of his wrist revealed that the prince was unharmed. Blessedly, the priest before him seemed to mutter along with a prayer of thanksgiving to whichever deity might be listening to them. And the ceremony went on.

(Extended - Music fades out and new music fades in)

Maybe it was for the best that I said nothing to the GiftedDuckling. I couldn’t have known that at the time. This is hindsight talking, and it doesn’t offer the absolution that you think it does. But my silence meant that when the police came by with questions--because of course they had questions for her--she could honestly say that she did not know. She could give a detailed and thus believable story of events that included all her attempts to reach me and all my attempts to shut down the conversation. She could rant and rave about my situation, all her speculations, even about me. And all of it would be believable because it was the truth. I had really shut down and distanced myself from her despite all her attempts to help me. 

The police had to accept that version of events. It was the one she had that she didn’t want to have, and it did not really benefit her in any way. In fact, I think she lost a lot of sleep over me, over being worried about me. And she had reason to be worried. I had given her that. It was my fault. And I never even apologized for it because I didn’t want to validate her fears by acknowledging them. I--I couldn’t bring myself to do that. And maybe it’s because I’m just not a very good person. That bit seems accurate. 

(Extended - Music fades out and new music fades in)

The reception later that evening managed to be more beautiful than the ceremony. It was absolutely stunning. Weddings and celebrations such as this were rare events, so extravagance had to be had. Banquet tables were laid out with food carefully prepared and elegantly displayed. Members of the court were dressed in their finest silks and jewels, twinkling in the artificial light. The sun had long since given up on the day, exhausted by its role already, and left the small kingdom covered in night. The people on the streets had retreated, but the palace was still alive. Candles filled the hall, bathing the ballroom in light, catching eyes and jewels. It seemed to be a divine affair. A taste of heaven. That’s what everyone would call it after the fact. Years after.

There was dancing, of course. This was a wedding. The prince and his new bride participated a bit, but they soon returned to their table. The new bride was not one for dancing, it would be known. And the ladies of the court were sympathetic to the challenges that came with such an extravagant and luxurious dress. All those skirts and all those hoops with a corset--maybe two--to match. But the prince’s new bride took it well. She wore the difficulties as well as anyone would have, and it would make her a good queen.

Now, their only real complaint was that she didn’t wear the joy of a typical bride. She didn’t have the glowing smile one would expect. But it wasn’t her way, they thought. She just did not seem to be expressive.

But there wasn’t an evil glint in her eyes, they were quick to add in their minds. So no matter what, this was an improvement. 

(Extended - Music fades out and new music fades in)

“You can tell me anything,” she said.

“No, I really can’t,” I replied.

That was the shortest story I ever wrote. Entirely because I wanted to. I’m not even sure if that counts as a short story to be honest. It just feels like it.

(Extended - Music fades out and new music fades in)

The princess’s dress was smaller and more lean, as it were. Which made it possible for her to sneak around the ballroom as she wished, searching for those eyes that brought her so much comfort. He’d been keeping a low profile as of late, and given the task before him, what choice did he have. But she needed him now, and there had been no way of communicating that to him. Or so she would have guessed. 

But when her panic set in, he was summoned. She caught a glimpse of his cloak headed out towards the balcony, behind a curtain meant to keep the guests inside. She too was not meant to venture beyond it, but she was not a guest but a princess. And so with a glance to either side, she slipped through the curtain and saw her trusted confidant on the balcony with his hand bandaged. Blood was already seeping through the cloth. 

It was where her brother had his run-in with the steel trim, she thought to herself, but she wasn’t sure why she thought that.

Instead, she asked. “How did that happen?” 

“I don’t know,” the man replied.

And he did not. But soul in that reception did.

(Extended - Music fades out and new music fades in)

Aishi Online is a production of Miscellany Media Studios. It is written, edited, produced, and performed by MJ Bailey. With music from the Sounds like an Earful music supply. If you like the show please consider leaving a review or posting about it on a website that might not be around in five years. Make the post vague and somewhat mysterious but still compelling if you want. Up to you.

(Music fades out)