What is This Podcast Really?

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Hello everyone! Kumusta ka! Welcome to today’s episode. And okay yes, it’s been a while. I took the month off of posting on this feed because it didn’t seem like the right time to post an episode of a podcast about my culture when a much needed dialogue about race and discrimination was happening. And considering the pandemic situation in the US, it still kind of feels like I’m taking attention away from other, more important things. Or--as I’ve also been thinking about lately--maybe I should have had an episode discussing the cultural preference for fairer skin, something that I’m worried is going to have terrible consequences for one of my goddaughters, but that also as someone’s whose mixed heritage brightened her skin tone a fair bit still feels (inhale) likeI’m preaching down to other people. Or at least that’s how it always feels when I try to talk to my goddaughter about this.

The fact remains that my life is always going to be defined by my life trajectory in ways that while I might want to put in this podcast, I won’t always be capable of or able to. If I can’t really explain to my goddaughter why she should be more confident in the way she looks or even in her other virtues, then I don’t think I can make a cohesive argument here. Not a good enough one, anyway.

As for the pandemic, I’m still observing a strict quarantine because--not to brag just to explain--I’ve been running errands for some of my older and/or immunocompromised neighbors, so for their sake, I have to triply ensure that I don’t get sick with anything. And--here’s the relevant bit--I’ve been at home with my needlessly growing book collection as a result. That’s what inspired today’s episode.

Because now that I can’t rely on scanning books from a university library that I now have access to that I didn’t when I started this podcast, I have to buy all the books that I think I’ll need in the immediate future. And/or that’s really just the excuse I use to justify the expense to myself. Because, yes, I’m technically saving money on a commute, but you know, I could have actually save that money. Moving on.

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One of the books I bought was Felipe Landa Jocano’s Outline of Philippine Mythology, and to get it, I had to resort to using Amazon, which I’m not proud of. But literally no other place could get it for me. They would try, sure, but there was no guaranteeing it whereas apparently Amazon had it in stock. So I took the moral and ethical hit and bought it from them. 

And then I started worrying that on top of contributing to Amazon, I might have bought a fake or pirated copy of the book because when I first opened the package it didn’t look like most of the books I had handled in my life. And yes, that’s my life in the United States, so there’s that. The books by Maximo D. Ramos were much the same, but also, there’s enough administrative meat in the first few pages of the book that I know it’s legit. It’s just not what I’m used to, I guess. And hey, I’m willing to adjust my expectations. 

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But as a result of having this podcast, I now have a little section of my overflowing bookshelf that are books on Filipino folklore, myths, and legends. Which, yes, might have cost me more money then I should have been spending, even across the two-ish years this podcast has been running. But that little section of my bookshelf has come to mean a lot to me, especially with the knowledge that I will not be travelling to the Philippines for a while, thanks pandemic. All in all, it’s just nice to have a little bit of the Philippines here with me. Especially because this was such an important part of my grandpa’s identity and character. He was a storyteller. And when I look at family pictures, I’m struck by how little I look like him or that side of the family as a whole, which is something I’ve always been aware of, but you know, drilled in points still hurt. This storytelling tendency and/or this part of us is probably the best connection we have, me and him.

It’s a way to feel at home, I guess. It’s a way to feel connected or rooted, as a philosopher I read in college called Simone Weil might say. 

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Look, I’m going to put the Amazon link for this book in the description. It’s not an affiliate link, and I’m not encouraging you to buy it from Amazon. It’s more like an act of desperation because, hey, if you can get an indie bookstore to find it for you, that’s way better than what I did. Just take the information from that page, like the ISBN number, and see who can do magic.

But in various opening sections or introductions, Jocano talks about how important these myths and legends are, even though other academics have ignored them, which you probably saw coming. But this defense is not like what some academics do where they argue that their work is super important and deserves a bunch of funding and also they should get a raise and tenure and discipline specific awards, you know the whole deal. I’ve been to academic conferences and read books where scholars do just that whether it be for their ego or for their professional survival. And this isn’t that at all. It’s genuinely…  well, it’s almost a plea. For the survival of this aspect of Filipino culture that Jocano calls on page three, “basic to our social tradition.” 

I think it’s important to point out--or remind you--that Jocano’s master and doctorate degrees came from the University of Chicago. In many ways, his practive was greatly influenced by the same academic tradition that was so quick to dismiss or downplay this part of his culture. Which--I imagine though his is speculation--essentially forced Jocano to be the in-between point connecting these two perspectives or worlds.

While most academics or anyone working on a biography of Jocano would want to talk about his work pioneering the use of Participant Observation, a methodology where the observer or academic studies the life of a group of people by participating in their daily life, in the context of the Philippines, I won’t. Partially but not only because I am struggling to get a hold of the published pieces that resulted from this work but also because I think focusing on times when this method could be seen as explicitly invoked is missing part of many points. Namely, as Jocano’s work in preserving these myths and legends show, he was always a participant trying to observe and preserve the culture around him: a culture that was rapidly changing with outside influences. Consequently, he understood the way these tales illuminated the social tradition of the Philippines or were even the building blocks to the world he knew. And he used that perspective to guide him.

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It’s a perspective that only he could have had at the time. And yeah, it’s the sort of thing that makes me take pause on this whole project. Because if the most clear and illuminating version of the tale or events can only come from those who have lived this experience, then when it comes to talking about Filipino culture, I’m in trouble, aren’t I? Not in literal trouble, you know. It’s just that...  Well, if Jocano’s approach was so groundbreaking and so productive and produced so much important work, then where does that leave me?

I knew what made me different from all the other kids at my school, or more realistically, I’m still sorting through the consequences and impact that all had on me. One day, I might be able to articulate aspects of that experience in an informative way, but that’s because that is my experience. However, that’s not the thing I want to talk about. That’s not the thing I’m trying to make a podcast or several about, That’s a thing I don’t entirely enjoy thinking about even. But on the other hand, the hand I want to embrace, there’s this culture, what I should be able to call my culture isn’t exactly. Not anymore because of events in my life that really nobody could have helped.

What does that really mean going forward? In many ways, all of this investigate-adjacent podcasting can’t be considered a true participant observing what is happening around them. Because I’m not a true participant. I wish I could have been, and that’s what started all of this. It’s both the initiation force and the major hiccup. I’m not a true participant, so what am I doing here? What perspective am I offering? 

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Maybe I would be able to answer that if I was a sociologist or anthropologist by training or profession, but I’m not even that. I didn’t take a single class in those fields in college. I thought about it. There were many courses that looked interesting, but there was, like, a thousand or more courses I wanted to take each year, and some things just got priority over others because I could not imagine having a podcast like this one. I couldn’t imagine doing podcasting at all. 

And also I had just been rejected from the Filipino students club, indirectly, I should add. Someone just assumed I was only there as someone’s girlfriend trying to be supportive of a culture that wasn’t mine, and that’s a hard thing to come back from socially. I’ll tell you that much. 

I always thought this podcast would be kind of a reclamation of sorts. Or a redoing of that moment. But still, I’m somewhat on the outside looking in. Again. 

But I want to understand. I am coming into this with a humble heart and a genuinely curious mind. And not all observers to a culture do that. So I’ve got that going for me. I mean, sometimes you have to look at things from multiple angles in order to understand what something is, right? So my perspective as someone on the outside of the culture and academic profession whose genuinely invested and interested in this mythos and canon could bring everything together in another way. A valuable way.

Or so I hope.

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On that note, Hugot Podcasting’s second show is in the works. After a grant application got rejected, but you know what, I’m taking it as a blessing because it’s something to work on during this quarantine. But also, I’m excited to share it with you all anyway. 

Its trailer is going to premiere on the International Podcasting Month’s feed in September. But the logo reveal will be on Twitter, @hugotpodcasting in the coming days. And that’s going to come with a premise. And a link to the press kit.

Really it’s the press kit that’s holding everything up. I really don’t like working on those, but it’s necessary. So I will get over it.

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This has been a production of Miscellany Media Studios with music licensed from the Sounds like an Earful music supply. Thanks for listening! Find more information about our shows at miscellanymedia.online or follow us on Twitter @miscellanymedia for updates on current and future projects.

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